Created as part of the Spoonie Collective retreat
Dear Ari,
There are some things I'd like you to know about me. I am not your enemy, at least not by choice. My pain reminds you to slow down. My fatigue helps you to find room for peace. As your immune system, I over-react and I'm sorry, but it's just because I see threats in your cells and I am fighting to keep you safe.
I am also struggling. I need your patience and love and care. Think of how others see you -- you are a source of pain, sadness, complication, and resentment in their lives. Some of them distance themselves, wanting to escape that pain, but those who are kind and strong stay close; they love you and care more deeply. They work to bring you comfort, even though your presence in their lives hurts. Can you do the same for me?
I try to hold it in. I fight it, try to heal through rest. But as I grow heavy with rain, I need you to slow down and let me evaporate, or I will spill over. I try not to come unannounced, but you choose to ignore my hints. Thanks for the times you've listened and helped me find what I needed. A gentle rain, some rest, and tears, is better than letting it build up into an explosive storm.
I have not brought you only misery. I have helped you find appreciation and gratitude in the mundane. I have forced you to deal with demons and suppressed emotions. You have so much deeper understanding of yourself as a result. I have magnified your compassion, empathy, and capacity for love.
So please don't resent me -- that hurts us both. Please try to comfort me, learn to understand me, and love us both for the path we're forced to walk together.
Love,
Clouds
For more about the retreat, click here.