Keeping Kosher on a diet (or not)
When people find out I'm Jewish, they usually look awkwardly at my blond hair and blue eyes, and then seem to stumble around for words. They are curious and want to ask questions, but aren't sure where to start and are afraid of offending me. For the record, I love questions about religion and would rather you ask something a bit uncomfortable so that we can talk about it, rather than you carrying it inside forever.
I absolutely love Judaism. My parents come from very different backgrounds -- my mother's a German Jew whose parents narrowly escaped the Nazis and grew up with every fiber of her being steeped in her religion and culture; my dad grew up Catholic-ish, but mostly hated religion until he met my mother. He converted to Judaism out of respect for her culture and family, but eventually found his own (much more intellectual) love for it. For me, Judaism is both a heritage I was born into and a choice that I continue to make in how I live each day.
I could talk forever about the complexities of Judaism, but the question I hear most often is "why do you keep kosher?"
Hmmmmm...
My parents kept a kosher kitchen so that a) friends/family would feel comfortable eating in our house and b) so that the kids could learn the rules of kashrut and try it out at home in the hopes that, when we grew up, we could make informed decisions for our own homes. Outside of our kitchen, however, we ate whatever we wanted. My favorite trayf (non-kosher food) was shrimp cocktail, although bacon was a close second.
Around sixth grade, I decided to keep kosher out of the house. I'm not sure what made me do it, but I think I figured I'd try it out to see how it felt, and then could revert back if it wasn't meaningful. It felt good. People have come up with reasons for the rules of kashrut, like pig carried disease and so avoiding pork was a healthy choice, etc. None of those feel relevant to me. What did resonate was the idea that Jews in the diaspora are at constant risk for assimilation. Keeping Kosher is a daily reminder that you are Jewish. I felt drawn to that idea; I want to remember who I am and not take it for granted or lose sight of the complicated history it brings. More than that, I've grown to love the food mindfulness that comes with keeping kosher. I have to take a beat before I put something in my mouth. While at first I was just checking for trayf, it has also reminded me to think about the health and environmental impacts of what I put into my body.
Now that I'm on an extreme diet, I've had to grapple again with why I keep kosher, and whether it still makes sense. Bacon is low in histamine. Chicken alfredo is a delicious, filling option. If food mindfulness is my goal, haven't I achieved that through having to inspect and hand-pick every ingredient? Even the reminder of my identity happens when I'm thinking about food, simply from years of the association.
So, I've decided to not keep kosher. My top (food-related) priorities right now need to be nutrition, symptom management, and quality of life. If the opportunity arises to eat something delicious, low-histamine, and nutrient-rich, I will go for it.
The funny thing is that, after all of these years, I feel sad every time I break kashrut. So although I've rationally made the exception for myself, my diet is still largely kosher. What feels comfortable for me is accepting that this is a life-long process, not a one-time decision. If I feel healthier because of broadening my food options, great. If I still feel sad when eating trayf, I can choose not to. But every time I eat, I am thinking about why I've chosen this particular food, and it brings profound meaning, mindfulness, and gratitude to my life.
**As an aside, I do have some ethical issues around specific aspects of kashrut, such as butcher practices, treatment of employees and animals, and food waste (and the waste of disposable dishes/cutlery that can come with keeping a strictly kosher home), so my version of kashrut has never been by the books, per se. If these issues interest you, I suggest you check out Magen Tzedek, an ethical kosher heckscher that is making some cool shifts.