For the many of you who don't know, yesterday was Purim, a Jewish holiday about the story of Esther. It follows the typical cadence of a Jewish holiday, which has become a running joke in our culture: "they tried to kill us, we escaped, now let's eat!" The details of this story include a Persian king, his henchman who sends out an edict to kill all the Jews (with the king's oblivious/neglectful consent), and the king's new wife who has hidden her Jewish identity from her husband (for fear of persecution). When the edict goes out, she reveals her identity and the king is horrified at what has been done and repeals the edict, hanging the man who started it all. That's where we usually stop in the retelling. That's what we tell our children. And then we celebrate with food, drink, costumes, and festivals.
My dad, who believes in learning (and talking about) as much history and nuance as he can in regards to religion, was transparent with us about the end of the story -- the edict had already gone out, and since there was no instant communication system back in ancient Persia, the king (and the Jews) realized that it was all too late to take back. People were already starting to act out the orders. Sending out a "my bad" to cancel the edict would be too slow. The Jews would all be killed first. So, the Jews decided to preempt the attack that was just forming and kill everyone who was planning to take up arms against them. They killed 75,000 Persians in order to avoid their own extermination.
I remember being horrified at this and asking my dad how could they do this? How could this be part of our history/culture/religion? He reminded me that it was very old and that there are plenty of troubling things all over ancient texts. He pointed out that pretty much every major religion has at some point committed incredible violence in the name of their god(s). And he also said, in some ways, you can understand why they did it, even if you don't agree with the choice. They were living in an incredibly hostile environment, in which they felt constantly at risk of persecution. Everyone around them was antisemitic, so much so that they didn't blink twice at the edict to kill all Jews in their neighborhood. If the Jews did nothing, they would have been slaughtered. This didn't work for me. I didn't know what the solution was, but killing that many people, even that many armed, hostile, enemies, couldn't possibly be an acceptable option.
My mom sent me this article yesterday, and it sums up so many things nicely. I want to acknowledge that the comparison to Gaza is not perfect -- in the story, all 75,000 were hostile and armed. In Gaza, civilians and children are dying. In Persia, Jews had no power and had to hide for fear of oppression. In modern-day Palestine, Israel has had the power and has -- out of fear from constant attacks -- oppressed Palestinians. There are many other nuances that I hope to address at a later date, but if you are reading this, I hope you take away the message that I think rings very true in this article: "We cannot fixate only on Jewish vulnerability or only on the risk that Jewish force could lead to excessive violence. In the wake of Oct. 7, we have to read the entire megillah holding space for both of these twin fears." For those out there expressing horror at Gaza, it would have also been nice to hear you express horror in the early weeks of October. For those expressing support for Israel, it feels pretty awful if you have yet to acknowledge the 30,000+ lives and overall devastation that has been wrought on Gaza. And for everyone who can't fathom why this region is so volatile, please remember that fear and generations of oppression can do a lot to the psyche. Palestinians have been refugees under oppressive rulership for generations, even predating Israel (not sure what I'm referencing? Check out the "British Mandate for Palestine"). Jews grow up with holidays like this, constant reminders of the unending times and ways the world has tried to exterminate us. We see it pop up again and again in our modern lives with kids drawing swastikas in school and presidents making allies with neo-Nazis. We have to pass through intense security measures in our synagogues just to show up for holiday events. So when someone does perpetuate horrific violence against us, it triggers deep pain and fear.
Please, just remember that. Remember that this is complicated and ancient. Remember that the people calling the shots on both sides are not representative of all the people. But if you are speaking out in favor of (or against) one "side" or another, consider also speaking out against pain, death, destruction, and hatred in general.
What I don't think we can afford right now, is to whitewash our history to pretend moments like these didn't happen. We need to face the ugly truths of the situations this world can create and have dialogue about them before they become real. Passover is coming up next month. In it is the explicit instruction to mourn the death of the Egyptians -- both innocent and violent -- who had to die in the process of the Jews' escape from slavery. We hold space for them, even though they hated us, enslaved us, and hunted us. Jews, let's make sure we really focus in on that feeling this year and remember what it feels like to be oppressed and killed. Whether you are in favor of this war or not, let's still hold space for the horror that it has created.